


forte e piano

by gomushroom



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pianist, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-07-23 14:21:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20009734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gomushroom/pseuds/gomushroom
Summary: Nino joins this piano contest solely for the prize, and maybe for the fame. He doesn’t expect to get thoroughly distracted and to compete against Sakurai Sho, his boyfriend—or should he sayex-boyfriend.A short series for Sakumiya prompts at #Arashiweek





	1. support

**Author's Note:**

> Completely unexpected and unsystematic, I know, but the prompts from #ArashiWeek caught my eyes and I couldn't resist. Mid writing, this story refuses to stay light and I ended up with emotional getting back together scenes. This universe was a true challenge, and I never thought I'd take two months to get this 'short' series done. :D Despite everything, I had fun with this <3 
> 
> Thank you all for accompanying me in this Sakumiya journey!

Nino blindly reaches out to grip Aiba’s hand hard, his hand slightly shaking, his eyes fixed toward the direction of the stage even if everything blurs in his vision.

After reaching its full harmonies part, waves of bright music now resounds gracefully. He has to tell himself to consciously blink to prevent himself from closing his eyes. He has to tell himself to close his gaping mouth and settles on biting his lips instead. Captivating yet soothing lower bass notes continue, building the expectation and the entire music hall is holding their breaths—Nino can truly feel it—anticipating the upcoming crescendo while being in complete awe of the sharp and powerful one key changes after another. A long full sound and a round of notes executed in perfection mark the middle of the piece. Nino, once again, has to tell himself to breathe; so far it’s one of the most beautiful renditions he heard in this competition, a flawless performance up to this point. He finds himself both eager and reluctant for this performance to finish—he wants to be able to breathe again, stepping out the hall for fresh air and shaking this intense melody out of his head, but he also wants to stay ensconce in this beautiful space, in this heavenly tune.

“He’s good,” Nino softly says in appreciation. However he doesn’t catch whatever Aiba’s answer was because then higher harmonies begin. 

He knows this song by heart, one of the first pieces he learned back in school—still, this performance takes it further beyond the ordinary. On the stage, he can see silhouette of the man bending elegantly, his utmost focus seemingly on the music desk, his fingers must be flying precisely over the keys. He seems to be seated a bit too forward on his chair for Nino’s standard, but under the dreamlike stage spotlight Nino cannot take his eyes off the man as he bows down to play the keys with an imagery of having soft white wings fluttering behind him along with the melody. 

The complicated tempo building ups and the crucial overlapping parts are done; all the skills necessary to play this piece have been showcased brilliantly. Nino shifts and clutches the knees harder in second hand nervousness when the man begins the second repetition of the higher harmonies. He knows the last part of the piece will be where natural talent matters—hard earned skills alone will not lead a pianist to the end of this piece in utter perfection. One must show grace its entirety. One must posses control above mastery. 

“Ah.” Nino flinches in surprise when one note, one single note, goes a tad early.

But the man doesn’t falter at all—excellent control, Nino has to say. He swiftly plays through a bar, and then another bar perfectly. He executes another long full notes of the lower bass before the finale. Those fingers must fly across the keys precisely, producing series of complicated melody. The music floats beautifully around the space, before slowing down into soft and powerful accents. And, the man bows down to the keys in a reverent gesture, delivering his last note fiercely. 

Complete silence descends over the bedazzled music hall for exactly half a second, before applause and cheering erupt.

And that was what startled Nino back to alertness. People around him are now standing as they applaud loudly, and he turns to his right and finds Aiba grinning at him, eyebrows wiggling playfully as he points out that Nino is still clutching his left hand. 

“Oh, shut up.” 

Aiba laughs as Nino lets go his grip dramatically. “I do understand though. That was awesome.”

Nino wants to say, awesome doesn’t even begin to describe the performance. It was near perfection, and if this weren’t a contest, Nino would have been eager to try to talk to the man and probably ask how he could watch another heartfelt performance. “I can’t play like that, though.”

“I know,” Aiba says with a small nod. They have to lean close to each other because people are still cheering around them. “Your style is different. But it’s still interesting to see you up against Sho-chan later in the finals.”

“Sho-chan?”

Suddenly everything leading to the night makes sense. Aiba has practically dragged him to the hall, ignoring Nino’s protest and his lame excuses to just go home and practice. Aiba was grumpy when they arrived late and therefore needs to sit on the back rows—not that Nino cared. They are here for the music anyway and he only needs to listen the man play instead of being too close to the stage and get distracted by the pretty lighting. It doesn’t matter if he can only see a blurry silhouette of a man playing the piano; he doesn’t even regret not bringing his glasses with him until now

“That’s Sho-chan? He’s back in Japan?”

Aiba leans back and frowns at Nino. “Why the surprise? I told you he’s back last week.”

“You did not.”

“I did, too,” Aiba says, a bit too loud. It causes few people to turn their way since they have started to leave the hall now that the performance is over and the noise level decreases significantly. They don’t need to lean close anymore but they stay on their seats for a while longer. “Remember after the first round? I told you that I found Sho-chan’s name on the participant list.”

“Huh?” The only thing Nino remembers about after the first round was that he was relieved his program went smooth and satisfying. And that shortly after he left the stage, the stage director approached him and requested him for a short meeting about stage lighting for his next performance when all he wanted to do was to just go home immediately. “Out of all the time you picked one when I had just finished a program, being sleep deprived, prickly, and hungry?”

Aiba only pouts. “I did take you out for dinner after.”

Nino shrugs, because that one he remembers. Aiba might be an unconventional program coach but he takes care of Nino and has been giving useful and practical advice so far.

The hall is almost completely empty now that the last program for the day is finished. Only several technicians are still lingering near the stage; they need to leave soon before security staff goes in and ushers them out. 

Nino was about to tug Aiba’s hand when one thought runs across his mind. “Wait a minute. If you can find his name on the participants list, why didn’t he find mine and then meet me?”

“Maybe, just like you, he’s been busy practicing like mad,” Aiba says with a smile—Nino knows that smile, it’s the one Aiba uses when he thinks Nino is being ridiculous. “And now that he finished his program, I’m sure he comes around soon enough. He just has to deal with being sleep deprived, prickly, and hungry first.”

“Oh, shut up.” 

Aiba only chuckles. He then takes hold of Nino’s hand and gets them going. Together they make their way out of the hall, and just before he steps, Nino stops and turns to see the dark stage one last time tonight. 

It’s going to be an exciting week.

*


	2. discussion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Double chapters today. Tags are updated.

The small restaurant looks exactly the same as Nino remembers—the setting and crowd already familiar, the smell of homemade breakfast still comforting, the chime of the door nostalgic. He nods slightly to the server who turns to greet him and waves his hand politely as he tells her that he’s with meeting someone and will not be needing her help to find his table. He goes to the far end of the place before making a turn to the popular nook at the back of the restaurant with few tables and large window beside each of them. And, he stops short and snorts a chuckle at the sight he finds.

Just as Nino predicted Sho is seated in his usual table—looking exactly the same as Nino remembers, tired and sluggish in the morning, wearing what most probably is his pajamas jersey, disheveled hair, looking at he’s lounging at home.

With one hand, Sho is steadily shoving bites after bites of his katsu sandwich into his mouth. With the other he scrolls through his iPad—most probably reading the current news or catching up with his social media

Nino startles a bit when the server from before appears next to him, but she only means to take his order. He asks for their toast breakfast set and large cup of coffee after confirming that they still offer the set. And then he tells her that he’ll be sitting at Sho’s table.

He strides to Sho’s table, chuckling when he sees that Sho doesn’t even bother to look up from his breakfast and his news, and slides wordlessly into the seat in front of Sho. 

The timing proves to be perfect when he surprises Sho thoroughly and has the man looked up in disbelief with his mouth full. Sho looks absolutely cute, his eyes large from surprise, his cheeks bulging fully from all the sandwich bites in his mouth, his hand stopped midair.

“G’morning.”

Nino chuckles as he sees Sho starts coughing, but he leans forward to pour more water from the jug to Sho’s half full glass. “Why do I still need to remind you to not to talk with your mouth full?” Nino slides the glass closer to Sho, his heart beating fast in his chest. “Have a sip first.”

Sho finally seems to breathe easier even if he’s still confusedly blinking at the sight of Nino, his hand now clutching on the glass Nino offered, watching Nino in front of him, all while hastily chewing the sandwich. Nino waits for Sho to finish with the last of his sandwich—in the mean time the server arrives with his order. They need to do a bit shuffle because the table was filled with Sho’s plates, but they make do nicely. Sipping coffee slowly and having something to do with his hand, Nino feels calmer now, and waits. 

“Nino—“

Nino smiles at the low and filled with awe tone of Sho’s voice. It’s his third most favorite way of Sho saying his name—Sho completely lost his words over something Nino’s done, Sho not knowing what to say as Nino caught him unprepared. It takes a lot to surprise Sho, and Nino has always loved moment of triumph like this—that he does this to Sho. “I’m rather sad that you didn’t call me now that you’re back?”

“Nino—“ 

This time, Sho’s tone is different. It’s now the tone that Nino usually hears when he teases Sho too far. It’s his second favorite way of Sho saying his name because along with the sound of his name, there’s a slight warning, laced with exasperation. “Fair enough. We’ll talk later. I am hoping you don’t mind I’m crashing your breakfast.”

“Nino—“ 

And this time, Nino finally gets the tone he’s been waiting for; his most favorite, the affectionate sigh Sho let out when he’s overwhelmed. It’s that tone, especially the way Sho says his name when Sho cannot do anything else about whatever they are arguing, the affectionate tone that Nino really likes. 

“Sho-chan,” Nino says, using his best imitation of Sho’s last tone. “Why don’t you say something else other than just my name?” 

This time Sho laughs. “You caught me completely by surprise.”

And that was it—that was all Nino needed to know they are still okay. 

In silent agreement, Nino continues to sip his coffee and waiting for Sho to be ready for a talk—Sho owes tons of explanation to him but he also takes his time finishing his breakfast. Although, he keeps on his eyes fixed on Nino as he eats the rest of his sandwich.

When the server comes to collect Sho’s empty plates, Sho requests a coffee refill and soon enough they are done with their breakfast. Some time between his meals, Sho sets aside his iPad away and now there’s nothing else between them but cups of coffee and Sho’s guilt, and Nino’s amusement.

Sho sighs audibly. “First of all—“ 

Nino takes pity of the man. “You don’t need me to tell you that if you as much as apologize to me I’m going to step on your sandaled foot real hard.”

“Yeah, you don’t. I know that already.” Sho sighs again, looking down for a moment to compose himself. He wets his lips before looking up to meet Nino’s eyes again. “I was going start by telling you that it was nice to see you again.”

Nino smiles at that. “It’s nice to see you again too, Sho-chan. Although it rather hurt to know that Aibashi found you first and. He had to drag me to your program last night and waited until it’s done to tell me that it was you.”

“Nino—“ it’s the second tone and Nino chuckles, clearly enjoying the internal struggle Sho’s having right now. “You’re not going easy on me, I guess?”

“Nope.”

Sho offers a weak smile. “I just got back last week and went straight to practice. I did plan to come over and visit your greenroom later during the second round.”

“When did you know I was also in the competition?”

“Last night. I finally read the whole booklet of performance, and found your name.”

“Your program was excellent.” There’s no need to beat around the bush; Nino knows how to give compliment when it’s due. “You played different now.”

“I missed a note,” Sho says softly, a blush rising on his cheek.

“That you did,” Nino nods. “But it was excellence all the same.”

This time Sho’s laugh softly. “Of course you caught it. My coach didn’t even realized and he’s been with me for a year.”

“I’ve been with you for longer,” Nino simply says. “It was just a single note though. Anyone with amateur ears wouldn’t have known.”

He lets Sho takes another sips before he says, “And that piece was my favorite piece. So I get to say that you did excellent. I’ll even repeat that again because it’s true.”

“I picked it because it’s your favorite.” Sho finally smiles, his real smile—and Nino knows that they are definitely still okay. 

“Flatterer.” This time Nino takes slow sip of his coffee before asking the question that he had wanted to ask: “So, why did you never call? 

Gone is the ease that Sho had just now, he returns in looking a bit comfortable. But Nino has always been straightforward and he’s not giving Sho a chance to escape this delayed discussion. He has waited many lonely months to get this chance—as much as he misses Sho, he wants to hear it from Sho, he needs to hear it from Sho.

Two full minutes pass without anything spoken, but Nino still waits.

“I couldn’t bring myself to,” Sho finally says, his voice soft, his gaze at Nino unsure. “I was scared.”

“Of?”

“Of us, and what we will become. What I will become.”

Nino raises his eyebrows and hums. At least Sho’s not beating around the bush and also goes for a straightforward answer. There’s hope in this, after all; Nino’s glad he trusts his instinct that telling him to go here so early in the morning. “That’s why you left?”

“I had to. At that time, I felt like nothing works and I had to leave. I had to know.”

“Know what?” Nino asks, but he thinks he knows what Sho answer is.

“Know what I will become,” Sho says with a sad tone. “What I become if I am not with you.”

Nino stays silent. 

“What we had was good,” Sho continues. “It was so good and comfortable but I wanted to win those competitions. I wanted us to win. And we kept on clashing. That luck thing—“

Nino has to set down his cup before covering his face with both of his palms, holding in his laugh and failing. “Ridiculous. You left me for two years and you’re still ridiculous.”

“It is not!” Sho sets his cup with a bit force. “It kept happening to us, Nino, many times and it cost me—“

“—that Japan Piano Open title you wanted so much,” Nino finishes. 

Sho nods, silently staring at folded hands on the table. Silence lingers between them for a while longer—they will need to go soon, the people around them have changed into an early lunch crowd. And Nino decides that they will need more time, on another place, with another setting.

But for now, they will make do with what they have. 

Nino reaches out to hold Sho’s hand, only gripping tighter when Sho startles in surprise, looking up to meet Nino’s eyes again.

Nino says, “What we _have_ is good.”

He watches understanding slowly dawn in Sho’s mind. There’s reverence. There’s doubt, but Nino has to believe for the both of them. So, he makes sure Sho is looking at him when he says, “Do you trust me if now I have already forgiven you?”

“Nino—“ Sho’s tone is the third one, the one with affection. “I didn’t dare to hope—“

“Just answer the question then. Do you?”

Sho stares at him for another long minute before he softly says. “I don’t. Not right now because this is too fast. But I’m staying this time. I want to be with you again.”

That’s enough for Nino right now. It is not the reunion with Sho that he has been imagining—since most of them featured violence and a lot of shouting. But after Sho’s performance last night, and now that he sees Sho, so open and unsure of himself, this morning, Nino has to believe that they will be okay. “You still have a lot of groveling to do, though.”

Sho’s laugh sounds lovely this time. “I sure do. And we still have this competition ahead of us.”

“Yeah.”

*


	3. magnet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case this needs a warning: in this fic, Nino tops Sho
> 
> .

Nothing happened after breakfast; Nino made Sho paid for his breakfast set; Sho touched his shoulder and looked at him a kind and thankful smile; and Nino went to his afternoon practice.

Except, nothing also happens during practice.

Aiba takes one look of Nino and leaves him for the whole session. Nino has already decided what he will play in the second round after all, and he has practiced more than he usually is. With his fingers above the keys, he lets them lead him, playing the soft and comforting tunes from his childhood while his thoughts wander to the past.

To Sho.

To Sho and his musical talent and mastery. 

To Sho and his stubborn determination and hardworking nature. Sho and his loud laughter and kind nature. Sho and his annoying social habit and schedule. 

To Sho and his stupid belief of superstition.

The first time it happened, they both had a good laugh.

It was the first competition Nino has ever participated in. It was also Sho’s idea and encouragement that had him finally registered. He had no intention to join the professional circle of national pianists. Unlike Sho he didn’t go to music school. Unlike Sho he didn’t take pride of winning regional completion. Unlike Sho Nino just wanted to play piano for fun.

Sho practiced like mad that week—giving Nino an intimate sight of how Sho could be single-minded and focused for a competition. Nino started to work with Aiba, a friend from his childhood piano lesson who now had a piano workshop for children two station away from home. He worked his best and managed to be in the finals.

They went out for a drink, the two of them the night after the competition was over. And nothing Nino did that night could cheer Sho up. Not even all the Korean dishes Nino’d thought as one of Sho’s favorite could. At the end of the night when they ended up holding each other hand as Sho walked Nino home, Nino turned to him with a smile and leaned close to give Sho a soft kiss on the cheek. “Sho-chan, you did great. You got second place!”

Sho blushed prettily at the contact but Nino could still hear his answer in soft whisper. “Yeah, but I didn’t get to be the first.”

They went on with their days, steadily growing closer. They explored each other with more kisses and intimate touches. They learned about each other by spending more and more time together. Sho continued to participate in competitions while Nino worked more on widening his network of being a bar pianist. 

Aiba came for lunch at Nino’s home one day with his newest obsession, the ultimate encyclopedia of fortune telling. It was supposed to be a good joke but to both Nino and Aiba’s surprise Sho asked Aiba to borrow the book. 

That night he emerged from Nino’s bedroom with a triumphant look on his face and announced, “Nino, I finally know what happened! You’ve got to hear this!”

Nino could only laugh and laugh as he listened to Sho’s reading a paragraph telling him that they were least compatible, had biases against each other, and brought bad luck in career to each other. “It says,” Sho said with a hushed of wonder—really, what happened to his clever and rational partner, Nino had to roll his eyes. “Neither can succeed while the other thrive.”

Nino laughed so hard he slipped down the hard floor from his living room couch, and even so he could not stop laughing, finger pointing at Sho rudely, wheezing as he tried to tell Sho that this is not a Harry Potter story.

Sho stared at him with an impressive pout the whole time and stomped back to the bedroom grumpily after he realized that Nino was not going to stop laughing. 

Nino was about to set himself straight back when he watched Sho returned to the living room, now fully dressed with his jeans and coat. “Where are you going at this late hour?”

“I’m going home. I’m going to sign both of us on the next competition. Then we shall see if you can still laugh like that.”

“Sho-chan~” Nino tried to stop him because it was just ridiculous to fight over this. It was even more ridiculous that Sho had to go home tonight when they had planned movie night. But then the thought of Sho believing all those lies—he would have to kick Aiba in the ass later for bringing up this nonsense to their lives—set Nino laughing again. He decided to give Sho all the time he needed, sending a cute text before he went to bed and hoping that this ridiculousness would pass in a week or two.

Except, it didn’t.

Sho had them signed up to two regional competitions the next month. For the first one Nino wanted so much to prove that Sho’s ridiculous superstition was bullshit, he botched his performance and failed to get to the second round. Sho did better, winning the second place—again—and Nino thought they would have stopped there and dropped it from their discussion. 

Sho insisted that they tried again because it was only a competition but Nino stood firm and declined. He watched Sho winning competition after competition, making his name in the music scene; Nino went through several job changes before settling comfortably in a well-paid weekend job at Ohno’s high-class Azabu Juuban bar. 

He thought Sho had finally let that one go, but one night Sho sat on his kitchen counter and made his case: Sho said he wanted Nino to thrive as a professional pianist as much as he is. He wanted Nino to have more because Sho knew he had natural talent. Nino said that he didn’t want any of that, 

“Everyone wants that taste of fame.”

“Not me, Sho-chan.”

Sho only stared at him in a long time—Nino was beginning to worry that he would stomp out the kitchen and left his apartment again like that night, but Sho took a deep breath and continued making argument that there was no way Nino didn’t want fame. Anyone would have wanted it.

Nino was tired of this discussion, so he accepted Sho’s offer on one condition. Sho was to let go of his ridiculous superstitious belief and would just let them be together. 

Sho gave him a serious nod, and Nino tried not to start regretting his decision.

And when it finally happened, it changed their entire dynamic.

This time Nino was giving his all for a first place while silently hoping Sho’s ridiculous fixation over the fortune telling bullshit could be truly debunk after this. He practiced almost as mad as Sho, causing Aiba to both praise him for his dedication and scold him whenever Nino neglected his meals. He took out his saving and rent a fancy piano studio—it was the most tiring week of his life, one that he didn’t want to repeat ever again.

He didn’t even met Sho that week, both busy with practice. Sho was even more determined than ever especially since he had gained some popularity due to his piano solo part with a Gunma orchestra during their spring tour. 

Nino performed beautifully. 

When he got off stage, he met Aiba who was babbling in tears and Sho standing next to him. Aiba gave him a long hug, shaking Nino as he continued to weep and tell Nino that he was so proud of him. Sho was standing just a few feet away from them, his eyes swimming with unshed tears, wonderment and pride on his face.

Sho performed his average best.

And that was okay, or at least that was Nino told himself as he watched Sho pace back and forth with frustration brimming near the surface in Nino’s living room that night. Nino got third place this time, even had his chance to go up to the podium and received a small cute trophy. Sho didn’t even make it to the top ten and he was furious at himself, Nino understood. He would have been too if he were Sho. 

After an hour of waiting, Nino almost lost his patience. Sho’s anger was still on the surface. He hasn’t stopped pacing. He refused Nino’s offer to sit down and have curry rice dinner with him—and Nino has spent an hour making sure his curry roux was perfect and it irked him a bit that Sho didn’t even want a plate. 

Nino then did what he decided be the best: he strode with a purpose to the middle his living room, blocking Sho’s way and held his ground. He managed to make Sho stopped mid rant, and waited until Sho set his focus on him. His hand reached out to hold Sho’s chin, cupping it hard enough to keep Sho’s eye at him.

“Wh— What?” 

“Stop it.”

Sho eyes got bigger with surprise but he stayed still. Now that Nino was close he could clearly see the sadness mixed with hurt and disappointment in Sho’s eyes. 

That precise moment Nino finally understood the great extent of this competitive journey for Sho. 

Nino loved music, but Sho loved it even fiercely. 

Nino took pride of winning a simple competition, but Sho craved constant recognition and must always win the competition. 

Nino never planned ahead and was content on playing piano for fun, for ordinary people, for patrons of the swanky bars that hired him to play on weekends, but Sho played piano to survive.

Nino needed Sho, but Sho needed him more.

He released Sho’s chin and grabbed his trembling hand. With a bit of strength, Nino led Sho to his dark bedroom. He peppered kisses, whispered sweet nothings and waited for Sho to stop him if this got too much. But Sho spread his legs for Nino and stayed silent, his finger clutching onto Nino tightly, his breathing shallow as he accepted Nino’s comfort, his sighs hot against Nino’s naked skin. 

Nino pinned Sho into the bed, praising him softly on how pliant Sho was for him that night, groaning in lust when Sho finally turned and went on all four for him. Kisses, and more kisses; Nino has never given so many kisses to anyone as he did for Sho tonight. He took Sho carefully, slowly, and thoroughly; he gave his best effort reading Sho’s body, of its demand, of its movement, and of its needs. He gave Sho what he asked—with tight pulls of hair, rough rolls of hips, firm hold around Sho’s neck, painful bites on his shoulders, blinding pleasure after another—and after, he let Sho held him close for the rest of the night. It was a touch of suffocation, but Nino didn’t mind. He curled to sleep smiling that night lulled by Sho’s soft kisses and his hushed thank yous.

Sho didn’t return to the apartment the next weekend. 

Nino finally realized that Sho was not coming back after two weeks. 

When Aiba told him that he found out from Sho’s colleague that Sho had gone to New York for a scholarship, Nino kicked his piano toe block and blamed the pain as he cried all night. When he found out that Sho’s winning a fancy competition overseas, he laughed out loud in his empty apartment and hoped all the best for Sho. 

When Aiba asked him if he wanted to join the Japan Piano Open this year, Nino thought it was a good chance to prove that Sho’s just being ridiculous and that he could use the prize money to buy him a new TV set.

*


	4. leaning on each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The summary is rewritten. Tags are updated.
> 
> I honestly did not expect this to end up being a h/c fic, but here we are. Apology if you've read this and expected the usual fun banter. This fic constantly refused on being as light as I planned it to be. I hope you can still enjoy this.

He opens his door to exactly the sight he knew he’d be seeing, of Sho standing stiffly with his shoulder down, scruffy look, and a pair of sad eyes. 

“I—“

Nino holds back his exasperation sigh. He reaches out to offer his hand to Sho hoping that Sho will take it and allow him to take care of everything. “Come on in.”

Sho stares for a long moment before nodding weakly and taking Nino’s hand. 

Nino waits for Sho to take off his shoes before leading inside slowly, giving time for Sho to adjust to the dimness of his living room. He had planned to drink the night away since he thought it was going to take more time for Sho to shows up, but here they are. Nino waits again when Sho comes to a stop at the edge of the kitchen; his eyes are sweeping over the living room, over the piano set that has been there in the corner since day one, over the long couch they bought together, on the same warm mess Nino had always called home.

Sho finally turns to face Nino again, and Nino really doesn’t want another round of Sho-calling-his-name conversation. He tugs Sho’s hand and turns to the kitchen to get them both hot tea.

He’s pleased to see that Sho has seated on one of the kitchen chairs, even if he’s still wearing his jacket. He slides the glass in front of Sho. And he waits until Sho takes the first sip before asking, “How long have you been walking around the block before you got here?”

Sho snorts weakly, his hand sliding the glass back to its place. “Since afternoon.”

“Sho-chan—”

“I was not sure if you’d be home or not.”

Nino can only sigh at that. 

Sho’s voice is so soft and filled with misery. “I guess this time I’m also the only one who’s miserable because we lost?”

“I can say I’m not miserable. A bit disappointed, but that’s it. I know I wouldn’t have won against that whiz girl from Saitama. Or I wouldn’t have won against you, especially since you went all out on the finals.”

“It just—It hurt, Nino. It always did. Every single time.”

Nino knows that his soothing words mean nothing for Sho, now, or even later in the future, but he also knows that Sho doesn’t need his words. Sho just needs him. So, he takes a step closer—watching Sho looking up, still with that misery in his face, and then another step—smiling as he sees Sho blink in surprise, thinking himself not worthy of Nino’s closeness

They are going to need some time before everything is right again, but at least Sho’s here in his home now, and that’s a start. He says instead: “Take a shower.”

“Huh?”

“In the mean time, I’ll order in ramen,” Nino says, even if Sho looks like he missed lunch _and_ breakfast. He adds, “And you stink.”

____

____

Sho’s pouting lips tremble.

“And you—“

“Okay. Okay, I get it,” Sho says, his hand weakly swinging forward to swat Nino’s arm.

Nino keeps his tone stern even if he wants to smile seeing Sho’s slow acceptance. “Do you? Do you, really?”

Sho sighs and can only nod, but that’s enough for Nino.

“Everything is where everything is.”

That coaxes a soft chuckle out of Sho, but when he looks up and meets Nino’s gaze, Nino knows that Sho wants to hold him, to throw himself into a hug, to touch Nino to anchor himself. Nino doesn’t want any of that. At least for now. “And no. I’m not getting anywhere nearer until you’re properly showered.”

The pout returns but Sho steps away to walk away to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

Nino goes in search for his phone and before long the delivery from a ramen shop nearby comes, quick and prompt since Nino has been their outstanding regular diner. He watches Sho strides back to the kitchen, wearing only a pair of Nino’s old sweatpants and a towel around his neck. 

“That’s less clothing than I expected, but at least you smell better.”

“Nino—”

Nino sighs loudly, rolling his eyes, this time. It’s about damn time Sho stops saying his name with that tone, and that look. 

It doesn’t deter Sho from saying, “You don’t take care of people.” 

“That’s right. I don’t, but it seems I’m left with little choices here. You can’t even take care of yourself,” Nino says with a tone of finality, gesturing Sho to just take a seat and eat his dinner. “Now, you’re stuck with my usual takeout menu.”

Sho only pouts but he slides into the seat. He turns to Nino in slight confusion since there’s only one steaming bowl on the table, and Nino just raises his eyebrows. “I already had dinner. It’s almost midnight, Sho-chan. Most of everyone has already had theirs.”

Sho nods again and goes silently saying his grace. Nino pours himself another glass of tea and soon the only sounds in the kitchen is Sho’s hums and noises as he sips hot broth and slurps noodle. 

Sho is calmer after dinner; Nino tries to focus on his phone at hand, only glancing from time to time and seeing Sho’s movement from the corner of his eye. He also wordlessly deals with the dishes, wiping the table from the non-existence stain. He offers to refill Nino’s tea and gets a negative before settling back to his seat and waiting for Nino to set aside his phone.

“You said you’ve already forgiven me,” Sho begins, always to the point as usual. Now that he’s fresh out of shower, been feed, it seems that his coherence has slightly returned. 

Nino finishes his tea and folds his hands on the table, turning to listen to what Sho has to say.

“And I said I don’t trust you yet,” Sho continues slowly, his eyes closing as if he is trying to pick his words carefully. “That it was too fast for me. But, I’m only fooling myself, and worse, hurting you even more by saying that.”

Nino reaches out to hold Sho’s elbow gently. “Sho.”

Sho shakes his head firmly this time, openly refusing Nino’s offer to stop. “Please let me finish. I am here tonight to tell you that I did trust you when you said that. It’s just I don’t think I ever deserve your forgiveness.” 

Nino hums his in silent disagreement but he keeps his grounding touch on Sho’s hand.

“You said I was being ridiculous with the superstition. And deep down I _know_ I’m being ridiculous even if it continued to strike true. I’m—I just— I just want to win. All I care was winning, winning with you. It didn’t seem ridiculous to me, to keep pushing, dragging you with me. Until I experienced it alone.” 

Nino has to remind himself of not clutching Sho’s hand too hard, of giving him the time to let out what his convoluted mind had to say.

“Years away from you made me realize that you’ve always been there dealing with me being ridiculous,” Sho says. He has to pause, taking a deep breath, before with earnest teary eyes looking straight at Nino, he continues: “I was out of my depth last week knowing you’re still here, even after what I did. I’ve wronged you. And hurt you.” 

There’s no way around that one and Nino nods. “Yes, you did.”

“And you said you’ve forgiven me. But, how?” Sho looks up, misery in his face. His voice has turned into trembling whispers. “How could you? How could you forgive me when I can’t even forgive myself for hurting you? For hurting us? Why?”

The silence in the kitchen is warm. Sho’s bare hand is clammy. But Nino can only feel a surge of his irritation simmering hot near surface; he doesn’t blame Sho’s surprise of knowing Nino has forgiven him; he knows Sho needs time but he’s exasperated because Sho forgets the most important thing.

“Because you love me.”

Nino’s simple words hit Sho like a splash of soothing water, washing down most part of his worries. A single tear falls down Sho’s cheek, understanding finally starting to dawn in his eyes, and he stares at Nino like he is trying really hard to hold back reaching back to Nino; it’s his turn to listen.

“You love me, Sho-chan.” Nino says again, feeling himself returning to his calm at the sound of bold statement he has always believed, the fact that helped him accepted Sho’s decision to go to New York. “I know that. You know that. And so what if you can’t win with me, Sho-chan. You _already_ win me. Isn’t that enough?”

“It is. It is more than enough. I know that now,” Sho says, his hand finally finding the courage to reach out and hold Nino’s hand, showing his apprehensive but excited trust through gesture.

“Good,” Nino says with enough confidence for the both of them, his fingers moving to twine his with Sho’s. “That means you’re stuck with me.” We’re stuck together might be a better phrasing, but Nino knows that Sho knows it all the same now.

Sho laughs weakly at that. “At one point, I was desperate when I realized that I might’ve never deserved your kindness.” He doesn’t say he might’ve never deserved Nino but it was there somewhere with all the unsaid words. Sho’s voice wavers a bit before turning firm when he says: “I want to stay with you. I may not deserve your kindness yet, but I promise to stay with you.”

The easy answer is for Nino to say Sho can stay, that Nino has always wanted Sho to stay. But they’ve stopped being easy when Sho left. They’ve stopped being easy when Nino decides to forgive Sho and wait for him. They’ve stopped being easy when they both seek each other—Nino in early morning restaurant surprise and Sho at his home near midnight. Them being together is difficult, complicated, and convoluted after all.

“So, stay,” Nino ends up saying. Stay over. Stay the night. “Stay with me.”

*


	5. being gentle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic keeps on refusing to go the way I wanted it to go. So, instead of giving up on this universe or spending more time (and ending up delaying posting further) I decided to just work with what I have. 
> 
> Rating stays M, and will stay M till the end.

Nino should’ve known better. He should’ve known that his best smile couldn’t fool Jun even one bit. 

Now, they stand in the middle of the dim hallway, Jun staring at him with questioning frown, and Nino giving him a smile so wide his cheeks hurt, but Jun still doesn’t buy it.

“I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s up.”

Nino rolls his eyes. “I was supposed to be on stage a minute ago. Oh-chan is not going to like this.”

“Not before you tell me what’s up,” Jun says, repeating his words sterner and with more squinting this time.

“Nothing is up, Jun-kun. Can I just go on stage?”

“No.”

“Jun-kun—“

“No,” Jun says again. “You’re unusually nervous today. What’s up? Is there something wrong? Are you not feeling well? Because if there is something wrong or you are feeling under the weather tonight, I’m overriding Satoshi right now. We can just cancel tonight’s performance and—“

“Jun-kun—“

“Can you just tell me what’s up? I’m getting worried by the second here!”

Jun can be very persistent—one of the reasons he makes a very good manager at this fancy place—but Jun doesn’t need to know everything. And Nino is fine, he’s feeling fine. He tells Jun just that. “And yes, a bit nervous, but I’m fine. And because you’re not going to let me go, I’m just going to tell you that I have a special person in the crowd tonight and it’s making me nervous—

“But you don’t get nervous—and what special person? 

“Ask your Satoshi, because I bet my weekly salary that he’s now chummily sitting next to my special person,” Nino just barrels through, before he taps Jun’s chest and pushes him aside. “Now if you’d excuse me I have a performance to do.”

“Wait, what? You mean Sho-kun’s here tonight?”

“You’re the one who knows who’s sitting where around here,” Nino says as he strides to the stage. He gives one final turn to Jun, bowing playfully and says. “You tell me.”

He has invited Sho to come over and watch him performance, thinking that Sho would not be agreeing easily—knowing that Nino doesn’t really know what Sho’s thinking about him being a professional piano player here in the bar.

Nino just walks straight to the stage—nodding at one of the technicians who had been welcoming him with a relieved expression. He nods to indicate he’s ready—because the lighting person will need to work a transition slowly reducing light and highlighting the stage with gradually shaper headlight. 

When the crowd realizes that the performance is about to start, murmurs recedes, attention shifted. Nino steps into the stage, eyes blinded by the headlight—usually he would be grateful for not being able to see the faces of his audience but now, he knows—fully conscious—of someone in the attendance—and dammit, the knowledge shakes him a bit.

What if—

What if this doesn't go smooth—

He steps to the stage in spite of his doubt, smiling at the general direction of the audience he couldn’t see. Nervousness still lingers, Nino needing to take several deep breath just to calm himself. But once he’s properly seated on the bench, all he can see are the shining keys and the familiar gleaming woods. 

Sure, there’s Sho in the audience. 

Sure, he is the one who invited Sho to come tonight—but Nino has a plan and he has practiced all week.

He takes a deep breath and begins. 

The first bar is soft. 

He embraces the slow beat and plays smoothly, feeling the rhythm coursing through him. At the repeat he doesn't need to count the beat anymore. 

The second part is playful. 

And Nino has only realized that he is smiling when he goes to the next bar—this part is much more lively. He lets his fingers dance, flying over the keys—and remembers. 

Sho loves this composition. A fun challenge, he once said; and immediately Nino knew that Sho loves challenge and thrives to overcome anything that comes his way. It’s the song Sho sometimes failed to play because he ended up losing steam midway, it’s the song they once try to play together and ended up laughing on the floor because they messed up so much, it’s the song will always reminds Nino of Sho’s presence—lively, brave, and stubborn.

The bridge part is nostalgic with complicated harmonies.

One day, Nino stands still at the door of their piano club, rendered speechless at the sight of Sho’s practicing—he looks so serious, his brows furrowing in concentration. The afternoon light glows behind him, and for a melodious moment time also stands still. One day, Sho is beaming so bright; “I got it, Nino. I got the auditioned slot.” And Nino doesn’t stop himself from leaning forward and kisses Sho breathless. One day, Nino snaps and yells at Sho for being dense and stupid; he even stomps on Sho’s left foot just to make sure his reasonable point gets across—Sho yells back and they stay sulking at the opposite sides of Nino’s living room in piercing silence for hours. Sho gives in first—Sho’s stomach actually—and Nino is still mad, Sho’s foot is still hurting, but they order in and sit together at the table for the entirety of dinnertime. Nino stays mad for two days, but he takes care of Sho’s swollen foot. Sho stays stupid, but he accepts Nino’s reasoning, and they compromise. One day, Nino is so cold, and Sho is there to hug him warm. One day, Sho is so tired, and Nino is there to soothe him to sleep. One day, they are in love.

The last bar is the most complicated of all.

The high keys combination before series of low keys harmonies, the most challenging part of the composition, impossible to do without mastery of technique and utmost concentration. 

Nino doesn’t even like this composition. It’s a headache to play; it requires too many practices and effort; it’s playful—Nino prefers emotional composition; it’s lively—Nino prefers somber and soulful melodies; one should be brave and stubborn to choose to do this composition—have enough courage to fail and stubborn enough to keep trying.

The audience cheers when he finally hits the last note, but Nino keeps his head down, staring at the keys, knowing that he made at least two stumbling mistakes on few bars but glad to give his best effort for this performance. 

Nino doesn’t even like this composition, but he’ll play it for Sho tonight. He’ll play it for Sho any other time in the future.

*

The rest of the night and the trip home are blurry at best. Jun gives him a warm hug and his official congratulation. Ohno as expected is sitting next to Sho at the house’s best seat—in welcome, Ohno beams at him while Sho leans forward to give Nino a soft kiss on the cheek. When Nino asks Sho to come home with him—Sho smiles as he nods, and everything falls in place. 

He leans against Sho’s warm side on their taxi ride home, his head resting comfortably against Sho’s shoulder while Sho holding his hand. His arm is already around Sho’s waist by the time they reach the door and he takes the first step, closing the last of their distance—it’s about time, he thinks, they’re done being sad around each other—and he smiles when he feels Sho’s hold tighten around him. 

“Thank you,” Sho whispers next to his ear. 

And Nino sighs into the soft heartfelt words, knowing that these are the last piece of peace he needed. 

Sho has apologized and Nino forgives him. Sho has said countless thank yous, and Nino accepts them. Sho has returned to him, and Nino who stayed believing in them is still here. Sho promises to stay, and Nino cannot ask for anything more.

This time they walk together, hand in hand, to Nino’s dark bedroom. Sho’s hand is steady when he tugs Nino down to the bed with him. Nino can feel Sho’s smile when he peppers Nino’s neck with kisses, careful in sliding his hands inside Nino’s shirt, patient as if he was trying his very best to please Nino tonight. 

“Hey,” Nino softly says after a peck over Sho’s jaw. He waits for Sho look up and sighs with a smile when he meets Sho’s soft eyes, looking at him with affection. He has missed that look so much. “You’re awfully quiet tonight.”

Sho blinks at him for a long second before quickly hiding his flushed face in Nino’s hair.

Nino doesn’t expect that reaction at all. “Are you okay?” When Sho nods in his hold, Nino chuckles, liking how the shake of their pressed bodies causing Sho to hold him tighter. “Is this okay? We don’t have to if you—”

“Nino.”

The sound of his name from Sho, soft with a tad of nervousness, stills Nino. He really means what he was saying; that if Sho doesn’t want this tonight, they can just spend the night together. His hands go up to hold Sho’s shoulder, and with a bit of strength he pushes Sho away just so Nino can see his face properly. “Is there something wrong?”

“No. Nothing’s wrong,” Sho answers immediately. He’s smiling and half of Nino’s worry is abated. His face turns serious when he leans forward and rests his forehead against Nino’s, his eyes closed. “And I really want to do this—if you want to. I’m— I’m just—”

Nino waits and sees the struggle in Sho’s face, so he reaches up to hold Sho’s cheek and gives the corner of Sho’s mouth a peck in encouragement.

“I’m just happy,” Sho finally says with a sigh as he opens his eyes. “I’m so happy right now.”

Warmth and giddiness course through him like fire, and Nino does the only thing he could think of: he pulls down Sho for a hard and messy kiss and growls when he feels Sho melting against him. 

Sho’s legs shift and Nino rolls them over the bed. He pins Sho to bed, meeting Sho’s dazed eyes, and seeing Sho spread under him breathless, feeling Sho’s arms instinctively tightened around his waist, gives him a surge of affection, and somehow a stronger reassurance. Nino has always believed in himself. He never stops believing in them. He now has Sho with him, and he still believes in them, in himself, in Sho. With a smile—this is what he’s been trying to say all this time. This time, he makes sure Sho hears him soft and clear with nothing else between them. “We’re gonna be alright.”

Sho’s smile blooms slowly, as if he’s savoring the Nino’s precious presence above him, as if he finally believes in Nino, in himself, in them, so beautifully. And, Nino’s hand reaches up to pull Sho’s hair, to angle his face and lean down to kiss him senseless.

*


	6. disparity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue.

Nino presses the C-sharp key, keeping the tip of his toe holding down the pedal, and smiles at the lingering sound. He turns slightly, taking in the bright and empty living room space around him.

It’s been a long while since Nino is here, but nothing changes in Sho’s apartment after all this years. Sho has said that he didn’t have the heart to lose his space, even with him traveling around the world, and ended up giving the key to his brother for house sitting while he was away. 

Sho is not one who likes to spend his time at home and he just keeps the same sparse setup. There’s a couch that looks like it’s brand new because Sho rarely use it—now it goes for sale at Aiba’s friend vintage shop. There was a sparkling kitchen set—Nino decides on taking most of the fancy pans and utensils, but leaves the rest for Sho to send to his parent’s house. There were books, shelves of books—all of them are packed in boxes, and now stacked on the corner of Nino’s living room. 

Everything in Sho’s closet is already joining Nino’s shelves back at his apartment. 

What’s left in the living room is Sho’s grand piano set. 

The front door opens and closes. Before long Sho shuffles into the living room with two cups of take away ice coffee in his hand. 

He gives one to Nino, nodding at Nino’s soft thank you, and pulls out two coasters from his jeans pocket. 

“Here,” he says as he puts down his cup on a coaster on top of the piano lid. He slides the other coaster in front of Nino. “You can put yours here.”

Nino frowns. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Sho only nods to encourage him. “These coaster are the best. And I trust you.”

“It’s you with coffee that I don't’ trust,” Nino says, but he obligingly sets the coaster properly while giving the coffee a sip. He carefully sets his cup on top of his coaster. “You are going to go ballistic if there’s even a single drop of condensation leaking onto your piano.”

“It won’t. It’s perfectly safe.” Sho settles next to Nino, his hand hovered above the keys. “And it’s our piano now.”

“You’re still going to be the one who uses it often though. I don’t practice anymore, and an hour or two at the bar is enough for a week’s worth of practice for me.”

Sho hums in response, his fingers now repeating A minor keys softly. “And you’re sure that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah. And Mom is happy now that she gets my old fancy piano. She could have my nieces over and play with them. She’s delighted and already making plans.” Nino feels warmth up his cheeks; he has never thought of sharing a piano with Sho—something that would have never happened few years back when Sho always considered him as rivals. “Now, are you sure? You sure you really don’t mind sharing yours with me?”

“I’m sure. Now.” Sho answers a moment too quickly. He pauses before he continues, “Well, I gave it a long thought. At first I knew it’s not going to be easy since I have always used one exclusively for myself. But these past years, I always play alone and there’s always something missing. So, I’m sure I want to share this one with you. If it’s with you, I’m sure.”

Nino hums as he hits the A root note on the left side of keyboard, the tip of his toes holding the pedal again and adding a much more lingering sound base sound. This is the better response, Nino thinks; they talked their feelings, they made up, and now they are here.

Nino follows Sho’s lead when his fingers move to play a different inversion, complementing the sound of Sho’s A minor chord playful rhythm. 

And, Sho turns to meet his eyes, chuckling with delight. 

An elementary routine

They create a smoother and better sound together—both of them realize—smooth and lively, progressing to nothing in particular but playful random jolly notes. Nino leans aside a bit to bump lightly onto Sho’s shoulder and Sho picks up the cue immediately, starting a new inversion, in four beats rhythm, before going back to the A minor. 

A simple harmony.

With Nino leading on the root notes, Sho plays more and more inversion, working up a chorus melody with his right hand. The sound they are creating is familiar in a way, bits and pieces of popular tune mixed into an upbeat rhythm. Nino leads softly, slowly, and Sho plays with all the variations he could think of, laughing loudly when he hits imperfect note once in a while, chuckling with glee when he manages to bring back their rhythm to an even pace. 

They are doing this together—both of them revel—creating a silly song together out of the blue, nothing specific but more in enjoying music together, giving each other space to do what they want—Nino leading when Sho wants to play around with notes and Nino’s adjusting quickly when Sho tries a new combination of sound with his favorite lengthy strings of melody.

Mostly, Sho goes with simpler inversion of one chord. His split chords are consistently working in major chords and Nino enjoys the simplicity of just playing it by ear, being close to Sho, spending time with _their_ piano with laughter. He keeps working with the middle pedal and root notes—not wanting more, content with what he feels most comfortable. He keeps his eyes on Sho’s fingers across the keys and just play. He leans to Sho’s shoulder and feels Sho head leaning toward him with familiarity, and they play together, no rush, no end in sight, just playing, keys after keys, toward harmony.

A simple, fun, harmony.

Nino vaguely remembers the last time he was this happy playing the piano—it was that one night on his early university day when he caved into Aiba’s teasing and ended up participating in open piano night event. The audience didn’t knew that he was already a pro player and Nino did not show off any of his techniques that night, he simply enjoyed playing around and having a good time.

It was also the night he met Sho.

Still uptight and so serious back then, he asked Nino straight up why he did not consider a professional path with all his talents. He and Aiba had never laughed so hard, and by the end of that week Nino found himself sharing coffee with Sho and talked about piano practice. 

Sho has forgotten playing piano is fun—always having expectation and ambition. But in hindsight, Nino also has. He let Sho pulled him full speed into a path he didn’t want—he experienced some of the best things in his life, but his heart has never been fully in it.

Now he knows.

Now he knows that he and Sho don’t share the same path, but they can always be together, in harmony. Now he knows, regardless everything in the past, his heart has always been Sho’s.

Now he knows, they have been taking the round about way, but they finally are here, together with their piano, playing a simple fun harmony.

Nino lets the last note lingers longer, smiling when he sees Sho’s following his cue and stop playing. The room is silent but the music they create still lingers within them. He lets one of his arms sneaking around Sho’s waist, pulling him into a loose embrace, and tells Sho what he now knows: “I’m happy right now.”

Sho shifts in their seat, staring at him for long seconds before he says. “You’ve been right all along. We’re gonna be alright.” 

And Sho frames his jaw, tilts his face, and kisses him. Sho kisses him like there’s no hurry. Nino clings into their embrace; there’s no darkness around them like most of their nights. It’s only them now, in the living room with their piano, sharing happiness and promises. Their kiss breathes promises to each other; their closeness binds them with their love. And Nino knows that they are going to be alright; they are going to make things alright between them.

When he’s still dizzy from Sho’s closeness, his breathing uneven, he hears Sho calls his name. And he opens his eyes, not realizing that he has closed them, and finds Sho gazing at him with a smile. 

Then the doorbell rings and they part slowly. 

Nino finds himself looking into Sho’s soft yet determined eyes. He leans forward quickly to kiss the corner of Sho’s lips. He needs to ask, for one last time, just to give Sho the space he always needs. “You’re sure?”

“I am. I am sure with you.” Sho says with a nod, with so much reverence and a blinding smile. “Ready?”

They need to open the door and not to keep the piano movers wait longer, but Nino keeps Sho in his hold, wanting Sho to hear his answer closely, and lands one last kiss before nodding with a smile. “Yes.”

*

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/gomusshroom) if you're up for fic talk <3


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